Monday, December 3, 2007

Bigfoot Paintball Review

Original post 01 Oct 2007


Okay, here's the deal. I am writing my own review, but there's a more professional one at the bottom, that i found on another website. So you can just scroll down to the ***** if you want.

I've been shooting my friends and co-workers with paintball guns for the past 7 years now. Me and my buds have this twice-a-year game since like 2002 and we always go to Bigfoot Painball. I am trying to watch my language in case there's younger readers, but i am very tempted to use the term, ''Bigfuck Paintball''

It's the only place i ever went, and everybody's favourite. But i've noticed a steady decline of quality since my first time there around 1999.

First time i went there, i immediatly fell in love with their maps. It is said that Bigfoot Paintball is the biggest outdoors Paintball terrain in Canada, and i believe it. Various types of fields are offered. From the islands-and-bunkers map called Waterworld, to the high-grass and small hills terrain of Cambodia, to the dreaded one-sided hills and exciting medieval castles populated with underground tunnels.

The qualities end there. From the unfriendly, over-zealous, in love with themselves, too young, unqualified crew to the just-bend-over-and-take-it prices and policies, this organisation is decomposing like a putrid carcass.

Over the years, i have watched assholes-in-training become super-head-master-i'm-the-top-shit-here. I know this, because they have this hierarchy that you can simply attain by doing initiations, not by being very good at paintball or very good at serving the customers. In fact, that last part, i'm pretty sure they don't mention it to their employees whatsoever.

Newcomers wear the yellow shirts. They are usually shy, try to act cool, say lame jokes, but still try to do a good job. Orange shirts is when you earn a promotion i guess. These staffers are sometimes friendly, sometimes total assholes, always trying to sell you shit. They understand that if they want that blazing red shirt, they need to play by Bigfoot's rules.

Finally, the dreaded red shirts. Often wearing desert camo tactical vests, with their nickname proudly written on it, walking around like they own your life. They are not here to help you. They are here to help the boss make more money, by lubing your waste-processor-exit-hole, and by helping the orange shirts understand how to make you drop the soap. I have also noticed that they same the same lame jokes. Everybody. And they've been saying them for the past 8 years at least. But enough about the staff.

The preparation. They ask you to be there around 8 am, so that we can start playing at 9. Except the map they give on the website is very plain and devoid of useful information. That's what they do, remember that: they make things look simple and easy. The place is situated in a little village 1 hour or plus from Montréal. So you have to leave at 7. Usually, we all meet up at 6 am for team breakfast. That's pretty early. But then, at around 8:30, they announce that they will start explaining the rules.

They go over the regulations pretty quickly, but then start to explain all the cool, nifty, cheap packages offered to you. Bigger guns, better ammo, that kind of stuff. By the time they are finished and you are served, dressed, armed and ready to kill, it's 10. All over-priced, if you ask me. Don't expect to have fun if you don't spend at least a 100 big fat ones.

And so it begins. You first walk to a designed cemetary, where you will go when you die, waiting for your next game, talking with the other casualties about how you got shot up the ass while going up a ladder. By a friend. Then the group proceeds to the designated terrain. Then you play. Then you walk back to the cemetary. And repeat. I remember one year, a friend of mine got frustrated because he said we ''are doing more walking than playing. We're paying to take a healthy walk through the woods''. We actually negotiated with our judge, so that we could simply stay at this terrain when we died, and we immediatly re-played when the game was over. This let us play 4 games in the time we could normally play 2 rounds. We were able to negotiate, because the judge was a yellow shirt, just starting. So he still clinged to the illusion that customer service was important to Bigfoot Paintball. That, and he must have been 16, so maybe we were intimidating to him.

This blog is getting way too long, and i still have lots of complaining to do, so i'll just let you in on a big fat lie they say.

Since 1999, they've been saying that it's the last year you can by a life-membership. EVERY YEAR for the past 8 years they've been saying that, in order to motivate people to buy them. That's a lie, and i hate liars. Also, now they introduced the VIP life-membership. For a small fee, they will actually pretend to care about you. This let you literally cut into line when it's time to pay. They give you this little bracelet, and when they see you at the members-only counter, they'll leave their post to help you. My friend who is a member but not a VIP, was left waiting for 10 minutes however.

So, overall, this place is a GREAT place to play, awesome terrains and very cool scenarios, even if very often, one team is over-powering the other simply because of field advantage. However, the organisation is crumbling, the staffers are recycled schoolyard bullies, the guns and masks are cheap and everything is over-priced. My mask's glass was all scratched, and with the money they are making from fucking people over, i'm pretty sure they can afford better equipment maintenance.

Here's another good review i found on the internet, if you feel so inclined.

****************************************************

The biggest field in Canada, and also one of the worst when it comes to customer service. I will admit that most of the staff is really nice, acting professionally 95% of the time. However, the two owners are a very good example of how callous and rude a pair of individual quickly become when life puts them in charge of something. I was a regular customer for more than 7 years at this field and saw many thing go wrong.

The price per case is probably the highest in Quebec, starting at 120$ for 1000 rounds of El-Cheapo (Midnight for example). If you want something of a higher grade because your marker needs it, then 140$ is what you will have to drop (Blaze for example) in order to get semi-decent paint in your marker. Rental prices are horrible if you do not want the old Tippman everybody gets and that is, at best, a poor excuse for holding a bottle of CO2. For example, a friend of mine rented a Spyder with nitro (WOW!!) for 100$ extra. At the end of the day, he said he wanted to buy the marker but they would not give him a credit for the 100$ he had already spent on the rental. For a good laugh, link to their site and look at the "Navy Seal" package for 229$, where somebody has managed to attach a tube to a Tippman so it looks (and probably wants to act, check with its psychiatrist) as a bazooka. They describe this contraption (my translation): "Marker developed for army forces training (pity the fool!) combining a high performance marker and a rocket launcher". A squirrel would be more dangerous throwing peanut shells on a rainy day. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that for this price you also get a walkie-talkie. Would have been a good idea to give two instead, so you don't spend the rest of the day talking to the radio instead of talking using the radio. Strangely one could possibly have the strange idea that they only give you one so somebody else would also spent 229$ through peer pressure. Of course, a fellow reviewer said that they were not in the business to make money, so quickly go check on their site to buy Oakley's boots "Elite Special Forces Standard Issue" for a mere 350$ while supplies last.

As a member of a larger group, I was often required to get there around 7:30 in the morning , but the game would not start before 10:30. They are horrible from an organization point of view, and while the opening speech dedicated to the new players is supposed to define security, they will tell people during those speeches to do things that grossly go against to the most elementary rules on security. For example, somebody who gets killed should walk with his marker in the air to the safe zone. No problem there. Of course, if you are dead then you cannot talk, so if somebody talks while he is dead shoot him repeatedly in the head. I had brought a 12 year old kid with me that day, and I was watching him play from the safe zone since I was eliminated. We were playing in the fort, so the kid gets nailed climbing a ladder. However, he was shot so often and so repeatedly that he panicked while on the ladder, neither going up or down but just screaming "I'm hit! I'm hit!". I told him to get down and walk out, but he was probably too panicked to listen. Then the guy 2 feet away from me points his marker my way and says I should shut up or he will paint me. I just left the safe zone and went to pick up the kid before he gets injured. Good thing Rambo did not shoot, because I would have hated to call the police on the field for assault. They also said that if you think you shot a guy and he does not call himself dead, then next time shoot him 10 time to make sure that he won't be able to wipe the bruise. But hey, are you a man or not?

I saw their "pro" team play against beginners. That was so funny, you hear these guys talk about how their "pro team" goes to big tournaments in Toronto and compete, but they always forget to mention that they get their butts handed back to them on a silver plate every time. One should keep in mind that participating in a tournament does not make you a "pro", but making a living out of it does. If you want to be a pro, then start acting like a pro and train, because cleaning used equipment with a rag for 9.95$/hour hardly qualifies. The best part was when they were giving each other high fives for winning against beginners in army fatigue playing on what they call the "speedball" field, which is nothing else than a junkyard filled with barrels and giant tires. The fact that they had angels, timmies and cockers against Tippman was probably not a significant factor in them pulling this awesome win against a bunch of people who probably had 2 hours of paintball experience all together.

The scenery is fantastic and will probably provide one of the best setting one can imagine for outdoor play. The fields are diversified, large and numerous and will provide you with the whole spectrum of physical challenges during your play, from a spectacular forest to swamps to hills. There is also some man-made structures that are very interesting if your play is more scenario oriented. The food is also great and fresh, plus they have a beer permit on site for those of us who must drink a lot of alcohol to forget the fact that the intimate communion one can feel with Mother Earth by spending a beautiful day in the woods can easily be lost if the place in question is owned by two shaved monkeys.

I will give it a four, because the trees and the staff are very nice.

Socially Unadapted

Original post 27 Sep 2007



What IS IT with people?

Don't they understand that if they stand in front of the subway doors when i'm trying to get out, they can't get in either?

Don't they know that when they stop to talk directly at the exit of the escalator, it blocks the way out and the flow of people will just end up overwhelming them?

Don't they KNOW when they are walking downtown that there's probably 2 million people walking behind them, and if they stop walking all of a sudden someone will run into them?

Don't they know that the other person behind the counter isn't a fucking MACHINE and that if you YELL at them, they'll probably be PISSED at you and do some nasty SHIT to your food?

I call them Socially unadapted. Those individuals that should be living on their own in a secluded area, for the greater good of mankind.

This fight is not over. It has just started. If you get an elbow in the back while talking to your friend, it's probably because you are standing in some heavy-foot-traffic area and most likely blocking the only way in or out. And i WILL be unpleasantly rude to you.

Thor 3 reviewed!

Original post 14 Sep 2007



Thor 3. **** (4 stars out of 5)

Wow!
No, wait. Let me get this straight...
WOW!

You know, i was reading issue 1 and 2 and thinking... sure; the pencils are good. The inking is fine. The colours are really well done. Even the letterer is doing a cool job!
What is this series missing so far? Well... some action, or at least a fast-paced story!
I remember telling myself i'd wait for 3 before droping the title, because i already saw Iron Man on the cover.

Now, if you know a minimum about Civil War, you know that Iron Man cloned Thor and used it/him (wouldn't want to offend any clones out there) for his little power-trip, and Black Goliath ended up with a hole in his chest the size of... well, it was pretty BIG.

I can safely say that every Norse God fan out there was just dying to know how the REAL Thor would react once he'd come back from the dead.

I don't know how he knows all of these things happened, since he was dead. Let's just say gods work in mysterious ways.

What i'm trying to say is that this title should have been strapped with a Civil War Initiative banner. And a FUCK YEAH banner right under it. Because this issue kicks ass.

Billion-dollar-worth warsuit ass, actually.

First things first.
The pencils and inkings are great. Thor actually looks heavy. Pissed. Not really mystical, but that's okay. And he's BIG. The colours are a little dull i find, but the story takes place under the rain. It actually helps the mood towards the end. The letterer does a real good job at making us feel Thor speaks in this cool way that only gods can pull off.

Second. The pace.
It's great. No bullshitting around. I found the last 2-3 pages a little bit TOO fast actually, but that's fine with me. After all they gave us 2 issues about Thor having real-estate problems.

Third. The spoilers!
I find that a story needs moments. Know what i'm saying? This one is full with it.

Thor visits New Orleans. He wonders how could his fellow heros could let this happen. He is sad, so sad.

Then womaniser Iron Man shows up and starts his little Registration Act routine, and hopes that Thor would be on his side. GREAT sequence of dialogue, i find. You're not sure if he's honest or just trying to seduce Thor since he's got long blond hair.

The explanation. Thor explains to Iron Man why he won't join his crusade. And boy, is he righteously angry. EXACTLY how you want to see goldilocks right now.

Then, the fight. Wow. God vs man, do you think Tony really stood a chance?
I found the EMP mystical lightning a little bit hard to swallow, but still. That came afterwards. I was mesmerised by the great book i was holding in my hands.

The biggest moment i found was when Iron Man was thoroughly beat up. I couldn't help but feel a little bit of pity for the guy. Especially since i read that last issue of Civil War Frontline. This guy sacrificed his friendship and trust with a lot of long-lasting friends for what he believed was right. And here he was, losing yet another buddy.

And the issue ends in a splash page that makes you say out loud: ''Ooooh F yeah!''


Dunno if that's the kind of review you wanted, but that's all i thought about writing.
Gotta get back to work now.
That's all folks!

Mavel titles you should pick up or avoid!

Original post 12 Sep 2007


Here we go, i have a little free time again. Not really, but anyways. Appreciate my rebellious and slacking nature!

So here's titles i think you should pick up if you are curious:

DAREDEVIL: BATTLING JACK MURDOCK

The story of Daredevil's dad! Pretty cool huh? I read the first issue and it was allright.

DARK TOWER: THE GUNSLINGER BORN

Of course, a critically acclaimed classic. Based on Stephen King's notorious work. The art and colours are friggin' great. I stopped at around 4 because it's not really my cup o' tea, but there's no reason why shouldn't try it. Or are you waiting for the TBP?

SUB-MARINER

How long has it been since Namor had its own title? Big repercussions from Civil War spark a rebellion in Atlantis!

TERROR, INC.

For something completely different! The issue starts with his origin story so you don't get confused (i know i would have been) and it's a pretty cool story. I wish the whole issue was just about that. This guy gets cursed and his body is constantly rotting, so he has to attach new body parts time and time again. And it's not restrained to human body parts!

ASTONISHING X-MEN

Everybody tells me this is THE mutant title to pick up. I don't, but you should!

Diner time, that's all folks!

August Comics Reviewed.

Original post 12 Sep 2007


Well, i don't have anything urgent to do at work this morning, so figures i'll try to review as many comics from August as i can before someone throws something my way.

Before i start, the official Iron Man trailer is out, and it's pretty friggin' sweet. And on Marvel.com you can see some conceptual art from the upcomming video game. Let's just hope Iron Man is more useful in his own game than in Ultimate Alliance.

IRREDEEMABLE ANT-MAN 11 ****

Just when i thought the series was about to go nowhere, they give us this great issue! I have no idea where the writer is heading, but i bet it's something good. This series rarely disapointed me so far and the art is cool. SPOILERS: Antman gets captured by that agent of SHIELD who hates his guts, since he's in the hospital after getting hit by Hulk. The SHIELD agent kidnaps him and proceeds to torture him 'cause he hates him so much! He event puts on the Antman suit and goes INSIDE our unlucky ''hero''! Saved by Iron Man, Eric O'Brady (is that his name?) double-crosses both the SHIELD agent and the Cat Burglar in order to appear innocent!

NEW AVENGERS: ILLUMINATI 4 ***

Don't be fooled by the cover, you won't see any of these characters in the issue. But the drawings are still very cool and the story very interesting. This is one series i reccomend, and it will be worth it to buy it in TPB. The Illuminati continue to explain and explore certain Marvel Universe plotholes and to fix problems! I would have given it 4 stars but we didn't really need these filler pages of heros talking about marvel women in the beginning. Classic Bendis crap to make the characters talk about mundane stuff to make 'em appear more human. SPOILERS: Someone mentions that a super-powered Kree (that kid we saw in Runaways during Civil War) is emprisoned somewhere after having declared war on Earth and that if they could convince him to join our ranks he could do some great work as Marvel Boy. Every member of the Illuminati has it's shot and own way to try to convince him. I especially like how Namor approaches him: He just kicks the crap out of him, telling him he could never take over the earth and he's just a spoiled brat.

THOR 2 **

Thor is back on earth! Very disapointed so far! The drawings are great, but the storyline is really dragging. I'm gonna pick up 3 to see how Thor interacts with Iron Man. I mean... the man cloned him and had him kill one of his friends and double-crossed everyone else... SPOILERS: Thor resurects Asgard in Kansas or something, and is alone in his big castle. He has to re-awake every Asgardian god whose personas are sleeping amongst the generale population. Sounds familiar? Did you read the last title of Eternals? Yup, it's the same thing.

WORLD WAR HULK 3 **

Honestly, i don't really remember that issue. That means it wasn't memorable. I am really disapointed in this whole event so far, and i don't like JRJR's stuff, so 2 stars for this sucker. I am waiting for 5 though, wich i think will be pretty cool if all the fighting they announced really takes place. SPOILERS: It's time for Dr.Strange's attack on the Hulk. He first tries to calm him with his astral form and some spells, wich obviously don't work because Mr. Hulk is PISSED OFF. He gets his hands broken by Hulk while in Astral form and it breaks his REAL hands, explain to me what's up with that. Anyways, at the end of the issue Dr. Strange releases an ancient evil to take care of Hulk. I kinda want to see what's going to happen next. But since all the other titles are already past that point, my bet is that Hulk beats Strange without any problem.

INCREDIBLE HULK 109 **

What a boring issue! Amadeus Cho continues his crusade to help Hulk, even though Hulk beats up everyone. The art is allright, nothing special. The story is dragging along. Will Marvel fuck up yet another hugely promising event? SPOILERS: Hulk captures everyone he beats up and puts Obedience disks on them, the same ones that he received when he was on that other planet. And he is building a huge stadium for everyone to fight in, i believe. Let's hope the next issue includes a lot of SMASHING.

NOVA 5 ****

Allright. This issue gets 4 stars instead of 3 because I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE HELL THIS IS GOING! Art is not so bad, but the story really keeps you guessing what's going to happen! SPOILERS: Richard Ryder is almost dead. Gamora is controlled by that alien lifeform and is looking for him. Some of the Nova force is dispensed to a Kree female so that she can defend Richard Ryder from Gamora, but she uses the powers to attack the aliens that want to kill her people. While she's away, Gamora finds Richard and infects him with the same hive-biotechnological-alien-thingy that is controlling her. So yeah, what the hell's going to happen next? I love Richard Ryder, don't kill him please!

OMEGA FLIGHT 5 *

I think everyone in the comics community can agree that this is a HUGE letdown, especially for canadians. I HATE SCOTT KOLINS. I hate his old style, i hate his 'critically acclaimed' new style. I think people say it's good just out of pity. And please, Michael Oeming, take a break. After fucking up a classic title and stuffing a team full of random characters (Beta Ray Bill wants to help the canadian government? But he's an alien! And isn't his race looking for a new planet or something? I think that's a little more important!). The only cool thing in there was the Wrecking Crew. SPOILERS: Well, everybody beats up on everybody. Turns out the Wrecking Crew was powered up by some ancient devil. Guess what? It's the same race that Beta Ray Bill fought against. I should have seen this coming months ago. So there's a huge fight, Wendigo goes berserk and Totema or whatever her name is calms him down. The new Guardian redeems himself and Beta Ray Bill sacrifices himself to stop the demon invasion. Sounds like a lot of cool stuff is happening, but you've seen all that kind of stuff in the good old saturday morning cartoons of the 80s.

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 543 **

Pretty cool story arc, but i think it could have all been said in 2 issues instead of 4-5. The cover might seem like the biggest lie ever, but i think it's about Spider-Man burying Peter Parker. SPOILERS: So in this arc Peter Parker, not Spider-Man, beats up Kingpin within an inch of his life, and transfers Aunt May to another hospital. This was all illegal and so Peter Parker is going all emo, saying he is now a criminal, the very thing he has always fought about. Boo-fucking-hoo. Everybody dies around him, why should he care anymore. I'm surprised he hasn't gone psycho yet! It's definetly time for a good old Spider-Man arc or this character will lose the little credibility he still retains.

Allright, i have to go do some work now, so on a quick note, this repulses me!

SPIDER-MAN/RED SONJA 1

Yes, you are not tricking you. Spider-Man and Red Sonja. I looked through that issue at the comics shop and it looks completely stupid. Spider-man travels back in time or something, and i guess he'll fight Red Sonja but they'll team up to fight a greater evil.

July comics review part 1, now with spoilers!

Original date 25 Jul 2007


Hello true believers, and welcome to my 'Whenever-i-feel-like-it' comics review! This time i will do it in two parts, since i have a lot of shit to cover and i have to do it sneakily at the job since i'm supposed to work!

I'll never be productive! NEVER! I prefer reproduction anyways. It's what i was born to do. Ask your girl, she'll tell you.

So, without further delay, and in no particular order (i'll never be organised, NEVER!)

GHOST RIDER 12-13 *** and ***** respectively

Considering this series was beginning to suck, it's nice to see a little change. I think they changed the writer, or else Danny Way just woke up to be like usual: fucking great. We see some classic ol' inner turmoil between the Spirit of Vengeance and Johnny Blaze. Good ol' John wants to go help the heroes fight Hulk, while Flamehead don't give a rat's ass about the chaos of World War Hulk. Issue 12 ends in a cliffhanger as Ghost Rider arrives face to skull with the Emerald Behemoth. ***SPOILERS*** Issue 13: Dr.Strange monitors the fight from afar, tries to determine if Ghost Rider has a chance to win. Hulk bashes Ghost Rider's face in after one fatal mistake, and promptly KILLS Johnny Blaze! Released from his eartly host, the embodiment of every biker dream, THE Ghost Rider unleashes a fucking big hellflame on Hulk, who survives easily. Ghost Rider stares at Hulk and we are reminded by Stephen Strange that he is the Spirit of Vengeance, and that he protects only the innocent. The issue ends up in an even cooler way, with Dr. Strange saying like that to Iron Man: And we... are far from innocent'. Fucking cool.

HEROES FOR HIRE 11 ****

Oooookay. Humbug just acts plain WEIRD in the whole issue, due to the alien insects present on the planet. If you like that character, check out that issue. ***SPOILERS*** HE fucking beheads an alien insect kid with his bare hands! I'm buying issue 12!

INCREDIBLE HULK 108 ***

To date, the most boring issue with the WORLD WAR HULK banner on it. But wait for more development. Oh yeah, Hercules rock!

IRON MAN 19 ****

Another perspective of what you read in the main title of World War Hulk, not very necessary, but still cool. ***SPOILERS*** I like that issue cause shellhead gets his ass handed to him, plus he has a fucking cool armor! If you want to know why the nanobots failed, read The Initiative tie-in!

SENSATIONAL SPIDER-MAN 39 **

Eddie Brock, you pitiful, small man... You see, Mr. Brock sold the Venom symbiote to some bidder (completely ridiculous and a total disregard of his discontinuity since they are merged on a molecular level after that whole fucking cool Planet of the Symbiots thingie back in the 90s... unless i missed something more recent, wich i most certainly did) (and Scorpion bought the suit, of all people) because he has cancer i think, and is trying to raise some money for treatments. He's quite happy when he learns that Aunt May is in a coma in the same hospital as him, and his demented, symbiote-affected mind (poisoned mind? Venom? Get it?) tries to convince him to do the obvious and just kill the old bag once and for all, exacting a sweet, sweet revenge on Spidey. Anyways, i think she came back from the grave as much times as Petey himself. I read the next part, and i drop the title.

SILVER SURFER: REQUIEM 1-2 *****

I looooooooove the Soaring Sentinel of the Spaceways, and i am quite satisfied with this series so far! Big annoucement, big sad feelings from Norin Radd, free to roam the multi-verse, but still trapped within his own mortality. The vocabulary almost does justice to Stan Lee, the storyline is great, and the art is straight out of some Mythos issue, wich is great. I love his interaction with Spider-Man in issue 2, and Spidey's look with his eyes completely black. ***SPOILERS*** Silver Surfer is dying of some unknown cause due to the very fabric of his silvery skin, if i remember well. He pays a visit to Reed Richards, stays a little to talk with Spider-Man (who wouldn't), feels nostalgic about his adoptive planet (that's earth!) and then intends to take a long last look at his home planet, and his undying love, Zenn-La. No action, just a fucking great book.

Well, i just got caught by 4 people in 4 minutes doing this blog, time to do some work.

Silly geek, comics are for kids!

A blog about blogs?

Original post 05 Jun 2007


Heh.

I don't know how it all started... That whole blog phenomenon. Or why it's called blogging. It... blogges the mind! Or is it boggles?

Anyways. I like blogs. You can read about anything, from anyone, all you need is internet access. And then one day i decided that i too was going to play the blog game and start ranting. That's what my first blog was about. Things i hate. It mysteriously disapeared from my profile i just noticed. Weird. But anyways.

I then started to do a blog about comics, inspired by Brian Labelle's Civil War review. And then i thought i was addicted to the shit, and on top of that i didn't have anything to do at work so i started to write all the time.

Thing is, most of it was crap. So i started browsing through blogs on myspace today, looking for inspiration. Then i realised, most of the stuff is exactly that: about nothing!

And a lot of people read those. I don't know if it's because they received an invitation and felt compelled to leave a comment. What a devious technique in order to earn Kudos! Some of those "most popular blogs" were about this dude who's sitting on his couch and has trouble with wires... I mean, how bored are you! hahaha.

Maybe it's because humans are always trying to find something that they can rely to, that they can identify with. Anything will do. Oh, this person eats the same breakfast as i do! 2 kudos!

Kind of pathetic. But then again, who am i to judge? I get drunk alone playing Titan Quest and Battlefield 2...

While we're at it, might as well tell you about my personal life... I've always had a thing about mythology. Maybe that's why i don't take today's religions seriously... But anyways. And i'm still trying to find a purpose in life, revolving largely around comic books. I like to write short stories or ... gasp... blogs, and i've had some nice comments about one or the other so i thought - hey, maybe i should become a writer! And the first tip i read was: read a lot. So there i am, reading my old unfinished Dragonlance novels, and buying books about mythology. I like the egyptians and greeks, mostly. So if anyone has a good starting-point book to suggest, feel free to... suggest!

Wow! Way to talk about nothing... a true blogger!

Have a horrid day everyone.

P.S. What the hell does Exanimate means anyways.

One Page Filler Man!

Original post 21 May 2007


First things first: I love Jim Mahfood!

There. I said it. I first discovered this unique artist with Marvel's Peter Parker: Spider-Man # 44-45, Spider-Man: Tangled Web # 19 (hilarious meeting between The Rhino and The Grizzly) and Ultimate Marvel Team-Up #9 wich was hilarious! Favourite quote: ''The artist is not paid by the Skrull!'' I was surprised to see that these were written with Bendis, wich i HATE.

His styled toned down for the mainstream, not as close as his notoriously over-pacted and energetic panels and close attention to irrevelant but hilarious details. I know he has more independent comics published, but you'll have to do your own research since i'm lazy. I'll give you this to help, though: Grrl Scout and Zombie Kid, wich i didn't read yet.

Here are the covers, can't seem to make 'em work like pictures:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v166/beurpool/mahfoodspidey2.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v166/beurpool/mahfoodspidey.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v166/beurpool/mahfoodff.jpg

So, that was the first reason i picked up the One Page Filler Man book at the shop. The cover caught the corner of my eye and I instantly recognised his nefarious drawing style.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v166/beurpool/opfm.jpg

I immediatly bought the book, without even peering inside. At my friend's place, after a little bit of pot and a little bit of beer, i proceeded to shamelessly read the book from beginning to end. Hilarity ensued! I wasn't familiar with Mahfood's previous small body of work with the characters, but it doesn't take long to adopt them. A little kid who constantly eats ice cream, and has t-shirts that change names every panel. A superhero thirsty for adventures who tries to be the exemple as much as he can, but he is clearly demented. Think Deadpool without the evil. Think old-school Spider-Man, without the intelligence. Random ramblings and spectacularly imprevisible affirmations abound. There seems to be no plot at all, but i don't even care, it's so freakin' good.

Mahfood's tried, tested and true ''Botched'' style of drawing is indeed, stylish. Overly dynamic poses seem to bring the already larger-than life character to unprecedented dramatic mountaintops. And if you pay attention to every little detail, you will see some stuff other people would not have seen. Read it a second time, you'll notice even more stuff. Kind of like Birdman!

My best exemple would be the changing t-shirts i mentioned earlier. One Page Filler Man's sidekick (can't remember his name) sports them throughout the tale, and it's basically a different slogan every time you can read one. Except when the duo comes back home, he sports a t-shirt he first wore earlier in the book, symbol of his return home, i would guess. I bet if i were to write every word of his t-shirts on Google i would discover a pletora of underground artists. Another example is the t-shirt Danger Doom. Most fans would think he wanted to make a reference to X-Men's classic Danger Room while dodging copyrights. But avid beats amateurs would already know it's in fact a reference to rap artist Metal-Finger Doom, a man obsessed with Marvel comics and Dr. Doom in particular, sporting the metal mask as he works the turntables.

In conclusion, i strongly suggest this book if you like geeky jokes and simple storylines, as well as slightly abstract humour and dynamic nonsense!

Rambling and Comics

Original post 17 May 2007


There was this girl in the subway this morning.

She was wearing leggings so tight, it looked like she was naked.

And she pulled it off. The legs and ass on that girl, i could have followed her all day, blankly staring at that perfect pound of round flesh bouncing around. Wow.

I wanted to walk up to her and just say: 'Hey, nice pants, sweet cheeks... butt cheeks!' Haha i'm lying. I just wanted to say: 'Sweet pants, nice ass!' But i didn't. I didn't feel like being slapped was going to make my day any better, so i just kept my mouth shut and my eyes open. It's still in my mind, that perfect pair of buttocks, and it is surely going in the Spank-bank, as Rich would say.

Enough with the daily perversions, here's the two last week's comics review AND recap, since i read the comics yesterday and i remember what it's about! (Can't you tell i got nothing to do at work?)

(Oh yeah, there's a new Fantastic Four 2 trailer on www.marvel.com. Jessica Alba looks skinny. Why? WHYYYY? You were perfect!)

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #540: ***

So much anger... So much violence... So much darkness... All this to justify Petey's return to the black suit? Yeah, okay... Well, Spider-Man is pissed, and looking for the sniper that shot Aunt May, looking for the guy that sold the sniper to the hired killer, and looking for the man who hired him! Of course, we, as readers, already know that Kingpin ordered that sweet retribution. During the issue we get to see Spider-Man aknowldege that he has murderous intentions, and that Aunt May just fell into a coma. He also learns who ordered to put the trigger, and it doesn't disturb him one bit. He just has to sneak into the prison where Kingpin is kept to exact sweet revenge. ***Spoilers*** On Marvel.com you can get wallpapers, and one of them is Spider-Man pulling the sheets over someone who just died. Who could it be??? ***Ramblinb*** Okay, one or 2 issues back, Spidey goes back to the Chrysler Building to grab his old back costume, that he left in a web bag some time ago, in case he ever wanted to wear it again, so we learn. Except that Spidey's webbinb is supposed to disolve after 3 hours so that no one can learn how to reproduce it! But! Now his web is shot from his wrists like in the movies, it's not his web cardrige anymore... Colored me confused, as they say!

MARVEL ZOMBIES: DEAD DAYS #1: ***

More Marvel Zombies stuff! With yet another take on a classic cover, Zombified. This month we get a super-wide cover. Each side expands to make it as large as 4 covers, enough to make the rendition fof X-Men #1 Jim Lee's classic 4 alternate covers! This story takes place before the first Marvel Zombies appearance, immediatly after the first people get infected with an alien disease. Pretty cool and quite evidently here to satisfy fans and close loopholes! The clerk at the comics shop told me the original Marvel Zombies series sold out up to the third re-print, and the trade paper-backs sold-out up to the second! I'm glad i got almost all the appearances from Ultimate Fantastic Four and almost all the alternate covers, each more delectable and classic than the previous! ***Spoiler*** We learn that Magneto is the cause of all of this, that the Avengers were the first to be infected, and we see a little more darkness in the soul of Reed Richards and Henry Pym! Are ALL smart guys turning evil these days?

NEW AVENGERS #30: *****

Slowly becoming my favourite series, with a cast of cool characters (except maybe for Spider-Woman, she's lame!). The art by LEINIL FRANCIS YU is quite simply mesmerizing (dunno how you spell that), and the attention to detail is spectacular. Bendis' work is better here than in Mighty Avengers, but he tries to sneak a few thought balloons in here, wich suck, since he adds ( and ) to them, confusing the confusion in my confused self. The story is quite good, with some twists and turns that i did not see coming, and for once the cover really represents the story! A few let-downs for me were the total absence of focus on the Silver Samurai, and the fact that ***SPOILER!!!*** Hawkeye is now Ronin. Completely stupid. The guy can shoot good, doesn't mean he's a ninja! BUT it sheds some light on that underdog of comics, and ties in with Fallen Son #3. ***Spoilers*** More on this Dr. Strange illusion stuff that has been taking place for 3 issues now. More on this Iron Man Is Lonely stuff, and the person they came to rescue from The Hand and Electra stabs Dr. Strange with a Katana. The team is beaten up. All seems lost. Can't wait for the next issue!

NOVA #2 : ****

Dammit! Now i'm really pissed! That issue was really cool and i missed #1! Not a lot of action, but a lot of other cool stuff. ***Spoiler***Richard Rider comes home after saving the universe from Annihilus, only to have neo-nazi Iron Man show up at his parent's crib with a strike squad of cape-killers. He asks to speak with Richard Rider, obviously want the new powerhouse on his side. Except Richard Rider is not the same as he used to be. He's shocked to learn about the registration act and the way the New Warriors are seen now, pissed that they discarded his warning messages about the Annihilation wave, makes fun of Iron Man (favourite line of the month, goes something like: While i was away, i led the resistance, pulled Annihilus inside out and saved the universe. What have YOU done, Tony?) and takes care of an old nemesis of his. The issue ends in a GREAT way, with 4 of the Thunderbolts coming to Richard Rider's house to investigate, obviously without Tony Stark's consent. Can't wait to see Nova's reaction to Penance, his old friend now turned completely screwed up and psycho, that Tony ommited to mention, of course. That sly, sly Mr. Stark. I voted for him as best villain of the year!

PUNISHER WAR JOURNAL #7: ***

Great art, cool story, but not a must-see. More on Frank's obsession with Captain America.

THUNDERBOLTS #114: ****

After the relatively action-empty 2 last issues, this one is violent, packed with combat and action, and quite good! The art is not bad either, gives a unique mood to the title. I'm not saying anything besides Steel Spider = fuck yeah, just pick it up! (When i was a kid i had his first and only appearance, always found him really cool. Glad to see him back and about!)

WOLVERINE: ORIGINS #14: **

I don't know why i'm still reading this. To know about Logan's son? The story is boring, the art is really bad, and i'm trying to save money! Droping it after this story arc!

CABLE & DEADPOOL #40: ***

Aw naw! Cable's back, and it only brings confusion to the friggin' title that was getting so good. Deadpool wins at Strip Poker, but we can't even see Outlaw's boobs. This title is very confusing but i still want to read #41 to know what happens next. Big changes for Cable, maybe? Even bigger than him recovering his telekinesis/telepathic powers after volunteering to be a alien conscience's host? AND! The struggle! Will he sacrifice himself to save humanity once again, or is he just too tired of that old game? Will he sacrifice Rogue, on her deathbed, as well?

CIVIL WAR: FALLEN SON - CAPTAIN AMERICA #3: ***

Hawkeye is back, but he doesn't want to be Hawkeye anymore. No, Tony Stark would rather have him as the new Captain America! And that deadly accuracy would come in handy with that Vibranium Shield! A short confrontation with Patriot and the new Hawkeye (reflecting Cap and Hawkeye's old friendship) and further exploration of the 'Iron Man is lonely and needs a drink' theme. Pretty cool. I don't know why, but i don't like John Romita Jr's new style at all.

MIGHTY AVENGERS #3: ***

Oops! A sudden surge of interest in that title! Could it be that Frank Cho's sexy females are quite helping? Yes! And the story is a little better, with the thought balloons slowing down. And a sexy steamy scene with Dr. Pym and Tigra, interupted by S.H.I.E.L.D... Awwww.

MOON KNIGHT #10: *

Just as bad as the last 8 issues. Title droped. 'Nuff said.

UNCANNY X-MEN #486 : ***

Conclusion to the year-long arc that leaves the Shi'Ar empire and this X-men team split and scattered. ***Spoiler*** Charles Xavier's powers are back, Corsair dies (!!!!!!) at the hand of his own son Vulcan (!!!!!), half of the x-men team becomes the Starjammers as they are left stranded on a distant planet with the inter-stellar crew (!!!!). Pretty neat!

X-FACTOR #19 : ****

Wow. I wish i started reading this from #1. Pretty cool series. Dark detective story, with a sense of humor and... mutants! Quicksilver's demander plan and new powers, an ALMOST revelation to the other mutants of who is REALLY behind House of M (Quicksilver watch out!) and battles in Mutant Town.

Make Mine Marvel!

A few comics reviewed, just for Angus.

Original post 08 May 2007


Hey hey hey! I got nothing better to do at work, so why not catch up on my comics review blog that i'm always too lazy to do! (Why make an effort when i can just go over to Karim's, smoke pot and play Magic all night? I swear i just heard someone say 'Loser' in the background...)

I have to drop some titles now, 'cause i want to save money and Planet Hulk is comin' up...

So without further delay (i love to write that), here goes:

FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDER-MAN #20: **

My my my. If i didn't pay nearly 5 perfectly good canadian bucks for this, i'd clean my ass with it. This issue is bad. I hate the art and the story. The only consolation is that they did not TOTALLY discard that whole 'The Other' event that took place prior to Civil War, regarding that weird humanoid-spider-alter-ego. When this arc is over, i'm droping the title, and so should you!

INCREDIBLE HULK #106 : ***

Okay people, bear with me. Planet Hulk wasn't THAT good, but it was still pretty fucking cool. This issue wasn't THAT good, but they are installing the mood for the up-and-coming major marvel crossover event (what they call an Annual these days) that will kick your ass into next week, hopefully. Pick it up if you feel curious! I know I am!

IRON MAN #15-16-17 : **

So much disapointment with this title so far. It sounded promising after Civil War, with big-time changes in the world of Tony Stark. But nothing fucking happens! Oooooh so he's at the head of SHIELD and runs it like a company... Oooooh so he makes fun of ex-director Hill. OOoooh he redesigned the Hellicarrier to match with his armor. What did you think was gonna happen? That they'd try to boost the story's almost absent action by doing this, and by bringing back an old-school villain like Mandarin? EXACTLY! I gotta admit though, the scene where he kills the people that came to rescue him is pretty fucking sweet. You'd think he'd just be a frail old man without his rings, but he's still fierce as ever. Going for another 'technology versus mysticism' brawl i fear! Another title dropped!

MARVEL ZOMBIES/ARMY OF DARKNESS #1-2-3: ***

Nifty! More stuff about Marvel Zombies! Who knew this even that spun out of Ultimate Fantastic Four would be so friggin' delicious? (Brain-delicious)! The franchise seems to be running out of ideas already though, throwing Ash from the cult series Evil Dead in the fray. Direct crossover from his own series, where i'm told he dies in the last issue. The first book of this arc was really interesting, but not as funny as Ash should be. The second one is just as good and weird, just not as good as the previous M.Z. stuff. It ends in a fucking cool cliffhanger though, wich is ruined in the third book that seems to lose a little bit of what makes it thick. I'm still going to buy #4 though! SPOILER: Ash gets his brains eaten by a zombie Howard the Duck! Awesome! But then you learn that it's Ash from the Marvel Zombies dimension, not the Ash from our (?) dimension. Anyways. Just read it to understand.

SENSATIONAL SPIDER-MAN ANNUAL #1 : **

Nothing special about this. Classic 'looking back at the past' kind of story, focused half on Petey and half on M-J. I liked how they show that despite everything, the couple is still very much in love.

THUNDERBOLTS PRESENTS: ZEMO - BORN BETTER #1-2-3-4 : *****

Pick it up! Wow! Baron Zemo is hurled through time, direct consequence of the events that took place in Thunderbolts' Civil War story! What's cooler than a former villain-turned-do gooder thrown in the past to witness and influence his family's story and lineage unfolding before his very eyes? With a very in-depth narration from Zemo himself, that sheds some light on what's quickly becoming one of my favourite characters (Dr. Doom, watch out!) Is he REALLY trying to be good after all? Seems that he is starting to despise his great family heritage, that would have not been so great if he had not been present in his past to influence his future that is actually his present!


CIVIL WAR: FALLEN SON - NEW AVENGERS #1-2: ****

First issue featuring Wolverine and an awesome artist (forgot his name, he works on New Avengers also, sounds asian). Good mix. Good story. Good dialogue. Incredible art. Pick it up, fool! I would have given this a 5-star rating, but #2 is VERY Disapointing. Focuses on Ms. Marvel and Spider-Woman (the one with the red suit), and has almost nothing to do with Captain America if i recall.

FANTASTIC FOUR #545

Okay. I DIDN'T pick that one up, but i did pick up the Black Panther issue it ties in with. Now i have to pick this one up. I didn't think that the new Fantastic Four team would be cool, but hey, Black Panther and the Thing... that's cool! Plus there's Galactus the Devourer and Silver Surfer the Soaring Sentinel of the Spaceways righto n the cover!!

SILENT WAR #1-2-3-4 : *****

Ghaaaa! I LOVE INHUMANS! Right on time with my Black Bolt statue, this issue was delectable! I was a little afraid about the turn of events that issue #2 was heading, but the folks at Marvel pulled it off. MAJOR changes for the Inhumans and it's royal family! We love change, right? Howzabout Black Bolt's dark side, Medusa's betrayal AND the official declaration of WAR from the Inhumans towards the USA! Fuck. Yeah.

WOLVERINE #50-51-52-53 : ***

Grrr... Boasted as THE fight between Logan and Creed... Presented as T HE event that will change the way Wolverine and Sabertooth would interact... back in issue #50. As i knew, they barely fight, nothing of consequence has hapened yet. They DO show us a kind of event that seems to be taking place a few thousand years ago, about this race of Lupine... Cat-like warriors with hairdo that ressembles Wolvie's. Please, please don't fuck up this character more than it already has! Let me remind you that now Logan has a cloned sister (X-23) and a long-lost son. It's kind of pushing the envelope. Don't fucking tell me Logan and Creed are the only descendents of a long-lost race of primitive cat-warriors PLEASE! I'm sticking with this title until it's resolved, and then dropping it.

X-MEN #197-198 : ***

Bah. Picked this one up to know where Cable was, since he vanished from the pages of Cable/Deadpool. Rogue is dying from a weird disease and this alien thingie is attacking Providence, Cable's little Utopia made of broken pieces of a machine that came from the future. Seems that little island is ALWAYS under attack. Give the man a break, he's our savior for mutant's sake! Not very good issues. I love the way Iceman is drawn though. There's some kind of uneasy romance building between him and Mystique and that's weird. But hey, she can be anyone you want! That makes for some pretty kinky stuff. Good enough for me. Dropping this tittle after the mile-stone X-men #200... Unless the next event, Decimation, proves to be good.

X-MEN: FIRST CLASS #1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8 : ****

Surprisingly fun since issue #1, and now evolving into a monthly comic! I will NOT be buying that one, but i recommend the trade paper-back for some good old-school mutant fun.

CABLE & DEADPOOL #37-38-39 *****

Okay. I confess. I'm a huge Deadpool fan. And so should you. I was pretty fuckin' happy to see Deadpool back in the spotlight (Cable's in about 5 panels in the last issue, that's it) and tring to earn back his name as 'The Merc with a Mouth!'. Hilarious and original stories, especially issue #38. Sticking to that one for the 3rd year in a row! I lost the early issues and i'm going to buy them in trade paper-back since it's so good. Best stuff to come out in a WHILE. Except maybe issue 17 to 35. Most of them were bad.

MIGHTY AVENGERS #1-2 : *

How could they do it? I'm not talking about Marvel sticking a naked woman on their cover and throught issue 2 without censorship...I mean, here's a chance to rebuild the freakin' team for the 18293th time in 4 years (Thanks, Bendis! You don't have a clue what you're doing, are ya?) and put a cool cast of characters. The art is cool and the women are sexy, with big muscular legs and gracious figures, the colors are vivid and seem to jump straight in your face. BUT! You can leave it to Bendis to FUCK UP yet another classic title! Thought-balloons are back, and so far it's NOT a good thing. It was a little better handled in issue 2, but still sucks. Dialogues are bad, and the plot has a classic Bendis feel to it: have out-of-this world characters talk like ordinary people to give them some kind of realism. Dig up something classic for old-school fan-boys like... i don't know... maybe Moleman attacking New York? That should make 'em buy the title! AND THEN! Make something completely fucked up and devoid of sense happen just to grab the reader's attention! Like what you ask? Maybe like having Iron Man implode on itself only to be transformed into a luscious semi-flesh-metal female! A clone of The Wasp at that. Finally we get to see SOMEONE naked! And that woman is... a new and upgraded version of Ultron??? Would have been a surprise if they didn't spoil it on the website about 3 months ago. How does this happen? He'll figure a stupid excuse of an explanation by issue 5 i guess... Another series droped, so soon too!

MOON KNIGHT #7-8-9-10 : **

Come oooooooon Marvel, you didn't have to do this! Not to Moon Knight! First of all, take out that Civil War / The Initiative / Casualties of war banner from the cover page. It has NOTHING to do with that. Second, you could at least be a little more original with the covers! It's exactly the same except they switch the character on them, for each appearance they have. And what an astonishing appearance at that! All of the characters featured on the covers don't even appear more than 5 pages, total! And the story seems to be going nowhere! Thanks for destroying a cult-classic, AGAIN! Another title droped! Although, having the nemesis make Moon Knight swallow is own teeth is kinda cool...

And by the way, the new Ghost Rider series SUCK. #1 was bewildering, #2-10 should make good material to start a fire. To burn down the other crap comics. Kidding, i couldn't do that.

Well, the mailman's here, time to do some work. See ya in the funny books!


Just Fucking Live

Original post 14 Feb 2007

Live. Fucking live. Throw yourself out the window kinda live. Because as far as we really know, there's only this plane of existence. Don't fucking waste your days wishing you were someone else, or lose your nights chasing away dreams. Just enjoy the fucking moment.

Just a little something i had to get off my mind.

Bi-Monthly quick comics review. More than 25 issues!

Original Post 04 Feb 2007


Allright, so instead of just picking my 3 favourite issues i'll add a little list of the comics i bought and those that are worth picking up... And since i'm lazy, this changed from a Weekly to a bi-monthly blog hehehe

I had a bunch of comics on reserve, so there might be issues from a month or two in the past.

X-Men First Class #4-5 "****"

Great comics! I was skeptical when the serie started, because i'm not a huge fan of mutants... But these two issues were pretty good. Set in the past, when the x-men were sporting matching uniforms and Beast was not blue and furry yet. The 4th one is featuring Dr. Strange, and the 5th has a participation from Thor. For those that like one-shots, or good laughs, i'd definetly pick up #5.

Batman and the Mad Monk #5-6 "*"

I recommend that you stay away from that complete mini-series. Boring art, uneventful story. I have nothing more to say.

Mythos : Ghost Rider "***"

Staying true to the Mythos arc, the pages of this book have colorful paintings, and the one-shot story is pretty good too. Notable Quote: "It's God who creates all of our tragedies, but it's the devil who makes us care"

1602 : Fantastic Four #4 "***"

For fans of what-ifs! a 5-issue mini-series that features the Fantastic Four in... you guest it... 1602! With hilarious olde-english dialogues and interesting takes on classic FF characters like Dr. Doom and Namor, and even Medusa.

Squadron Supreme: Hyperion vs Nighthawk #1 "***"

I never bought or read a comic featuring them before, but felt like taking a chance and wanted to see some action, plus i always give mini-series a chance. I liked the fight scene and the setting of the story, but the art did not impress me. I suppose fans of these two heros or fans of batman vs superman stories (that's how it feels to me) will want to pick up that issue!

The Irredeemable Ant-Man "*****"

So far this title lives up to my every expectations! With a complete story, great, feel and pace, a good mix of action and humor, and unpredicable development. Not too late to jump in the serie!

Agents of Atlas #6 "*"

Bad story, from #1 to this last number. It was actually a relief for me that the series finally ended. I bought #1 because it seemed entertaining and i'm a fan of Machine Man. All of the other numbers were terrible, and i kept buying them expecting something cool to happen... #3 made me laugh a little, but that's it. No pickles.

The Immortal Iron Fist #2 "****"

Now that's a cool story! Fanboys of this underdog, if you aren't already buying this arc, do it! You get to see glimpses of past Iron Fists, and there's a twist in this issue that kick-starts the story. With a classic appearance by Luke Cage and Hydra!

Spider-Man The Reign #2 "**"

More classic tales with a twist! Like i said in my last blog, this whole arc feels like an outrageous plagiarism of Frank Miller's Dark Knight Returns, but still features cool drawings. Very violent, featuring tons of villains!

Eternals #6 "***"

I had a lot of expectations for this whole arc, and so far i have been quite disapointed. #1 to 3 are fun, but the pace seems to slow down with every issue, and by the 6th i have lost interest...

Doctor Strange The Oath #4 "****"

I really like this whole storyline so far. Cool drawings, the pace of the story can be a little slow, but so far i am turning into a Dr. Strange fanboy!

Civil War : The Return "**"

I bought this one because i pick up everything concerning Civil War. I am also a fan of Quasar, and the variant cover was featuring him. The book contains a story about Quasar and one about The Sentry. But the thing is, they are not really stories, more like explanations of what the hell's hapenning with these two dudes and what are they doing to influence Civil War. Not a must-see unless you want to know absolutely everything about Civil War.

Wolverine #50 "*****"

Yeaaaaaaaah! Must-see! For once, the cover does not lie about it's content. Marketed as the issue that would contain the final Logan vs Sabertooth fight. Ultra-violent, face paced, packed with snikts and slashes! Also contains a very original one-shot story of a kind of re-enactment of Wolverine's first appearance in the pages of Hulk back in the days (Incredible Hulk #180-181 to be exact, wich weres published in 1974 and are now worth $135 and $1325 respectively, judged with www.comicspriceguide.com ). The story also somehow connects with the unfinished Ultimate Wolvie vs Hulk within it. Pretty neat issue!

Moon Knight #7 "**"

I always felt dragged towards Moony, and i don't know why. The art in this book is incredible and the action insanely violent, but the story is not as good as you might expect. Featuring Spider-Man on the cover and about 6 whole panels, and boasting a "Casualties of War" banner for pretty much no reason, except that you see Steve Rodgers (sorry, Captain America) in the last page. I guess they really need the money, but you don't have to buy this book.

Punisher War Journal #3 "***"

Still featuring awesome art, but less action and dark humor, this title is a must for Punisher, Captain America and Civil War fans!

Iron Man / Captain America "***"

An interesting issue devoted to giving some depth to Civil War. Pick it up if you are a fan of either character or Civil War, but stay away if not!

Bullet Points #3 "****"

What-ifs are IN these days, let me tell ya! And this one is astonishing so far! The writer really explores the marvel universe, and finds ways to transform certain characters into other just as important individiualsVery freaky, neaty, unpredictable-y. SPOILERS AHEAD: So far, Steve Rogers wears the Iron Man armor, Peter Parker turned into the Hulk, and last but not least, Reed Richards is now boasting an eye patch and is boss of S.H.I.E.L.D., all this because of one bullet!

Annihilation #6 "*****"

Fuck yeah! Cosmic battles! Universe-wide ramifications! Nova! The Kree! Annihilus! Galactus and Silver Surfer! Action and unexpected turns, good art and great ending to a good arc that lasted all year. Amazing cover and great kick-off for new cosmic character series. I definetly recomend picking it up!

Silent War #1 "****"

Things are not looking good for the United States in Marvel comics... A civil war from our spandex-sporting friends, two universe almost destroyed (check Annihilation), Atlantean terrorist cells, Wakanda considered a threat, and now, The Inhumans make their first move in the war they declared on the US a while ago. I'm a big fan of Inhumans, and i suggest this book. I think it was published a little too early, though. The story seems to take place after Civil War, and the Mr.Fantastic-Invisible Woman couple seems to be back together. Oh well. Great drawings and original story exploring the mythos of the Inhumans a little.

Ultimate Civil War: Spider-Ham #1 "***"

Nostalgia alert! With a funny feel and a great concept, and several full pages of ham-renditions of heros. The fantastic Four's one is ASTONISHING! Pick it up if you are open-minded!

Ghost Rider #94.

Haven't read this one yet. It's a print of an unfinished issue from more than 10 years ago, fans of the flaming skull will be be delighted for certain!

Wolverine Origins #10 "****"

Woa! This title is true to what it promised: explore Wolverine's back story plot holes to the fullest! SPOILERS: Featuring Omega Red, Wolverine's son (!), and the apparent death of that dude with a cool mustach who's now in Shield. I think his name is Dum Dum.

Black Panther #24 "***"

This issue was kind of confusing, printed too late, and seems to have been written solely to close plot holes in the Civil War series.

Warhammer 40,000 Damnation Crusade #1 "***"

Pick it up if: you are Warhammer 40,000 geek like me, or a sci-fi fan, of a "dark future" reader. I always had a crush on space marines, and this title explores their universe. The art is not bewildering, but not ugly either. Very dark and intriguing.

Fantastic Four #542 "**"

Very boring, completely unrelated to Civil War even if it had a banner. Sporting an amasing image of the human torch, who barely appears this issue. Solely for fans of The Thing.

The New Avengers #26 "****"

Since this title will apparently die off after Civil War to become The Mighty Avengers or something, it explains what the hell's hapenning with HawkMan and the Scarlet Witch. Very interesting, with great art.

What If? Featuring X-Men, Age of Apocalypse "***"

To quote Deadpool: "Not really THE Age of Apocalypse, more like AN Age of Apocalypse". A must-have for What If? fans, since it's actually a What-If? of a What-If? when you really think about it hahaha. Great images, amazing colors, and compeling story.

What If? Featuring X-Men, Deadly Genesis "***"

This story is one of the darkest Marvel publications that have recently been published. I had a lot of trouble keeping up with the story since i know nothing of the original storyline from wich it derives... Still quite interesting. With yet again amazing art and colors.

Well, that's it for today folks! I don't know if that's really helpful to anyone. If you'd rather read an actual review of the comic's content, head on to Brian Labelle's blog (he's in my top friends). The great great comic shop where i obtain all my comics and lets me put them in a bin when i don't have enough money is http://www.carsleyscomics.com/ in Montreal. Make Mine Marvel!

Cubicule Confinement

Original Post 30 Jan 2007


This is a prison. Everywhere i turn, i see gray walls. There is no sun light, only artificial neon brightness. Every day is a fight. I must not fall asleep. So i drink coffee. Cheap, disgusting coffee. Poor more sugah into it. And chug that hot brown liquid.

This is a nightmare.

A guy at work asks me what are my goals within the company. I fight the urge to answer... i don't give a fuck. I look at him straight in the eyes, and raise my shoulders. He raises his eyebrows, puzzled. What do you want to do here, he asks again. I tell him, we'll see later.

Truth is, i don't plan on staying here very long. It sucks. I hate it. It's depressing. But the pay's good. So i keep telling myself, just take it. Bend over and take it, and think of the money they are pouring down your throat at the same time. I'm getting sandwiched, holding on to whatever i can, take it as long as i can.

It's gonna sound gross, but i do it for my dad.

He thinks he's doing me a favor, bringing me to his company, giving me a good job with possibilities of advencement. He doesn't know i plan on leaving as soon as i go back to school. He doesn't understand that i'd rather be cleaning dishes at the hospital, with the boys, where we could fart and talk sex and drink whiskey in the locker room, or party all night and come totally wrecked the next day and people would laugh and move on.

Well, my diner is over. Time to go back to pretending to work and like it. I'll go drink some more coffee, listen to some Leftöver Crack in my headphones, and wonder if it would be fun to play on Guitar Hero II.

''Cubicule Confinment, waiting for retirement'' - Kings of Nothing

That weird guy on (in?) the bus

Original Post 24 Jan 2007


Everybody has seen one. A weird guy on the bus. It is inevitable. Especially on the night bus home from downtown. And believe me, i've seen more than my share. When you get in the vehicule and the driver is clad in leather, you know you're in for a good time.

That sounds nasty. Village people nasty.

Anyways. Usually these guys entertain me, are somewhat amusing. But the one from last night, was kind of annoying, and a little scary. Since i've been in this type of situation more than once, i've developed a sixth sense that detects 'em. They walk onto the bus, and i immediatly know they are going to be trouble.

Guys, think of this as our chicks radar.

So i just got on the 211, the bus i've been taking for about 7 years now. I was tired from my day of work (had to stay late), so i go straight for the back, a seat on the side of the window, so that i can lean on the wall and sleep for about 45 minutes. But then i see this guy walk in.

Big glasses like Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys, a dark blue hat that goes over his eyebrows, a mouth missing a few teeth. A long, brown winter trenchcoat, and a balance that suggested he's been on the booze. He sits down a few seats from me.

I usually make a mental note here.

The bus goes, i lay my head on the window, and promptly fall asleep.

I wake up to a loud ''JESUS!'', eyes wide open, ready to leap into action. I turn to my left instinctively, and sure enough, the weirdo is on his feet. He must have stayed put for about 5 minutes, judging from where we are in the bus' trajectory.

''JESUS! Jesus loves me. He's the only one who does. And he loves you. Everything i do in life is shit. I am a bad man. But Jesus loves me.'' I figure he's just a drunk religious fanatic, and try to go back to sleep.

''I am a terrorist''

I open my eyes, and intently stare at him. He's laughing.''I'm sorry'' he says, staring at nothing and nobody. ''I'm sorry. That's a joke. Jesus loves you''. Unvealing a Bacardi bottle from a hidden pocket in his coat, he arcs his back, his face now facing upwards, promptly puts the bottle to his mouth, and starts chugging. I could see the friggin' bubbles of air in the bottle, as he was drinking his booze.

I once again try to go back to sleep. I close my eyelids, and let myself go.

What must have been 10 more minutes, and some more loud rambling. At this point, i start to watch the crowd, and smile at the scared faces. I smile, 'cause i'm a little bit scared too. The bus finally arrives at the drunk's destination. He gets on his feet, stumbles to the door, and says: ''I love you all''. This did put a smile on a washed-up, recydled hippie's face.

And in my mind, i think... maybe that's the only reason for these weird guys' existence. To make people smile, at the end of the day. Smile 'cause we think we're lucky we're not one of them. Smile because they act funny or look different. Smile of relief because they are leaving the place. I lay my head on the window once again, close my eyes, relax, and think of all the wackos i've seen on the night bus.

And i smile.

Waiting for the printer

Original Post 23 Jan 2007


I'm at work, waiting for the printer.

Actually, i'm waiting for the computer to send the files to the printer, who must then recognise all of them and then do his job of, you know, printing stuff.

I've now been waiting for 30+ minutes.

My first thought when i realised that was something like: ''We waste so much time every day of our lives, and often we don't even realise it''

Thing is, how can time go wasted? Every second has its utility.

For example. While waiting for the printer, i browsed Myspace, read Mystery Cookie's new blog, and started writing this one. There were some things done.

When you're waiting for the bus, that seems to be the biggest waste of time of all of eternity. BUT! Aren't you pondering, as much as you are rambling about the driver being late on its schedule? Maybe without even realising it, you are reviewing your day, thinking about what you are going to do once you get to the destination, or other more interesting stuff, like what's for supper, is she naked right now, and what the heck's the deal with Green Goblin these days!

Have you ever caught yourself thinking? It's the weirdest thing. Happened to me a few times. You're just walking home from the bar on a Thursday night, and all of a sudden you realise that tomorow you have a job interview. Without even willing it, you were planning your up-and-comming day!

Well, the printer should be done by now. Anyways, what i just realised is that, your brain will never let time go wasted, for he's always working.

Except when you're watching reality TV.

Weekly Comics Review

Original Post 21 Jan 2007


Hey geeks and nerds, and welcome to the first blog of Weekly Comics Review. WOW! Two blogs in one day you dare ask? I know! I'm totaly bored!

Let's not delay the show more than needs to, and start with my 3rd favourite comic from the week of 2007-01-17. Actually, i didn't pick up much this week, so i'll mix comics from last week too. Also, i pretty much only read Marvel comics, so there ya go. Also, i missed several issues wich were sold-out, like Spider-Man: Reign #2, Thunderbolts #110 (ARG!) and some more wich i am too lazy to write. I'll also try to keep the spoilers to a minimum.

3. Cable/Deadpool #36

Not the greatest art, as a matter of fact it completely sucks compared to what they add at the start of the series. Not the greatest story either, it pretty much sucks, and that title has been giving felatios around the clock for at least 10 issues now. BUT i am a die-hard fan of both Cable and especially the Merc with a Mouth, so i'm pretty glad to see him back in the spotlight, instead of being just a plot device. Sounds like the writer is laying ground for some up-and-comming cool shit.

2. Incredible Hulk #102

Personally, i always liked the emerald behemoth, but never bought the title, until Planet Hulk kicked off. The story arc had its ups and downs, and kind of let you wondering how it would end, wich is a good thing in my opinion. This issue ended in an awesome way, and that is why it is in the number 2 spot. Also, in two issues is World War Hulk starting, wich gives, to me, even more importance to this book.

1. Fantastic Four #542

Wow! Number 542! I would never had picked up a FF title, except there's this big bright blue banner (4-hit combo!) on the cover, with big bold CIVIL WAR letters. Turns out, this is pretty much my favourite issue of the whole month! The coolest idea is clearly Reed Richards going to see one of his old enemies for advice and a second impression on his calculations. It's pretty much him bragging about his intelect for the whole issue. But, turns out Mr. Fantastic gets lectured by this nemesis, and i couldn't help but find this hysterical. With BIG teasers about the outcome and consequences of Civil War. Hardcore readers will most definetly want to pick this one up!

And while we're at it, i'll also put my top 3 DISlikes of the month, maybe make some people save money.

3. Spider-Man: The reign #1

Actually, this issue is not bad at all, and sounds pretty promising, with awesome colors, a cool drawing style, and a fresh take on Spider-Man. Only, it's a blatant COPY of The Dark Knight Returns, Frank Miller's AWESOME look into the future of Batman. You can still pick up the book, wich is strangely original in his unoriginality. J.J.Jameson really surprised me, but i didn't like the fact that Peter kills someone on his first night back in town.

2. Ghost Rider #7

What a huge let down. The drawings look like they were made with crayola by some kid from Stamford. That's right, a zombie kid with his hands blown out by Nitro, so he had to draw with his eye-socket that was empty because his eye melted in the heath of the explosion. It is not on the first spot of dislikes because the ending was preatty fucking cool. But so far, this whole series is pretty bad. I'm giving it a chance until #10, then pulling out like a man about to cum, having sex without protection with a girl he really doesn't want to have kids with.

1. Sensational Spider-Man #34

What a REALLY huge let down. I was getting ready to see Black Cat being pummeled by The Rhino, with hopes of a boob popping out. You think her nipples have long, silver hair on them? That would ruin it. Anyways. They got me all pumped up about a big fight last issue, and guess what, there's no friggin' fight. I think it lasts 2 panels. You'd think a drunk Rhino would be cool, but instead they choose to focus on Felicia's emotions, and this whole arc is about the women in the life of Spider-Man. I think Peter Parker is not even in this issue! If i wanted to read such boring things, i'd pick up Mary-Jane loves Spider-Man or whatever it's called. HUGE disapointment. Kids will have to jack off to images of the Black Cat riding her bycicle instead of her doing jump kicks legs wide spread.

A lazy attempt at comic blog part 1.

Original post: 21 Jan 2007

Well, i'm bored on a sunday afternoon, and just finished reading a bunch of comics. I always read Brian Labelle's blogs, and am somewhat anvious of his easy-going writing style.

Figured... if i wanna get better at writing, gotta start now, right?

I'll start with something that might remind you of my first blog, "things i hate". I'll call it, "Things i hate about comics".

Don't get me wrong, i freakin' love comics. I'd have sex with one if i wasn't afraid to get paper cuts on my fleshy ornament.

Well, first things first, what the FUCK is that independent music add doing right in the middle of my comic book? This surely can't help the CGC grade and is a horrific mood breaker as i get intimate with my life-companion.

I like to underline and bold and italic words. It's fun.

Seconds things... second, in about a year i found not one, not two, but three Marvel comics with pages completely fucked up inside. One issue basically didn't have staples and the pages just fell off to the ground. It felt like a wound. The other two issues contained pages that were simply torn up. Like an freakish apendicite scar in my comic book collection. I heard a rumor last year that Marvel is using a dictionnary's stapler machine to bind their comics, and i don't know what to think about that.

BUT, on the other hand, Civil War is fucking great. I'm spending from 50 to 400$ a month on comics, and it feels good! And for those that would say that i'm crazy for spending so much money on comics, well, aren't we all crazy? I used to spend that much money on pot, and i stopped at 19 so that i could afford my comics. Spider-Man helped me quit drugs, literally. You can look at that old issue of Spider-Man drawn by McFarlane where he talks to kids about drugs, and you would understand everything about me. Just look at the cover. Would you smoke that cover? Nah!

I've always been a sucker for Marvel Annuals, trying to collect every issue of Evolutionary Wars and the likes. Onslaught is a bitch to find, by the way. And for the first time in my life, i have the means to afford something like that, and it is actually taking place in the present. Plus, it's the biggest cross-over EVER, with ramifications and consequences "that will hopefully be felt for the next ten years", to quote Joe Queseda. I'd be in freakin' HEAVEN, if such a thing existed.

This is getting long and i don't know if it's interesting, so i'll stop this here. That's why it's called Part 1 anyways. On a finishing note, my favourite issue of the whole Civil War arc would probably be Civil War #3.

Well, excelsior, 'nuff said and all that!

Things I Hate

Original post: 25 Oct 2006


I'm bored, and tired. But i refuse to go to sleep.

So here's some thoughts.

Things i hate.

I hate that you have to put a capital i for yourself.

I hate people who pretend they are something they are not.

I hate people who fall in love too easily. To me, that's just called sexual attraction.

I hate girls who proclaim themselves bitches, pretend they are bitches, or go out of their way to be a bitch. I fucking hate you. Give me a smile, talk to me nicely, or get the fuck off my face and go jump off a bridge, give the world a break. Nobody likes you or your little false bitch attitude. I hope you die fat and don't fit in a coffin.

I hate people who hate fat people.

I hate religions. All of them. Just a bunch of freaking lies. This is the oldest and best thing they found so far to control people. The only thing that comes closer is television. They are the same, and i hate them just as much. People worship these things, people that appear within these subjects, true or false. I want to spit on people who dedicated their whole life to either of that crap. You just wasted your existence. Like that bitch on E.T., or a priest or a rabbie that bases his life on the writings of someone else, written some thousands of years ago.

I hate the concept of "soul" that everybody buys way too easily.

I hate people who act good just to go to "heaven", not to help people around them. You are being secretly selfish and would go to "hell" if such a thing existed.

I hate guys who think they are more manly when wearing pink. You are not, every other guy in the room hates you, including the other guy wearing pink because he thought he was going to be the only one like this.

I hate people who think they "get" me, or you, for that matter.

I hate people who judge me based on how i look.

I hate anorexics. George Carlin said: "Only in America can a disease like this exist: I don't wanna eaaaaaaaat!"... Fine! Stop eating and die already, bitch!

I hate women who read magazines and take tips and tricks on how to be more lovable, more beautiful, more "acceptable to the public". Fuck off. Magazines and television are ruining your life, giving you even more stuff to hate about yourself that you can come up with by yourself, and make you buy all kind of stupid shit you don't need like a new style for every freaking season.

I hate people who hate people.

I hate myself?

I hate jocks. Some of them are nice though. Then, i hate those big mother fucking assholes who think they are in some kind of teen movie.

I hate that big fat fuck at the Coloseum who couldn't serve me correctly, thought he was the funniest guy on earth, couldn't work a fucking pop-corn machine, and sprayed some kool-aid in my pop-corn. I fucking hate you. Why the hell did you do that for? You think i didn't notice you ruined my freaking 10$ pop-corn? (I hate how expensive it is now!) I didn't feel like complaining, but i should have. I was satisfied to see that you weren't working there anymore the next time i went. Asshole. Go fuck something rusty and die. Slowly.

Maybe i'll put some more things i hate later. In the meantime, you guys go ahead and tell me what YOU hate! I bet you guys are gonna say you hate ME, and that's fine, i believe that everybody's entitled to his/her opinion. But just so you know, i hate you too!

And last but not least, i hate grumpy old people. You're about to die, smile!